Now, I am certainly not an IT whiz, I think I have several (ok at least two) friends who I contact with urgent computer questions on a regular basis who would attest to that fact. I am, however, more computer savvy than the average 30 year old (I have to add that disclaimer, because the average 12 year old these days is much more computer savvy than the average 30 year old!) I fancy myself the "Expert" in the house, and when something is broken, tech wise, I can *usually* figure out the answer. So what's a girl to do? I called the "24 hour help-line" on the wifi card(s) (the first one was made by Linksys, the second by NetGear. I called both of their help lines on separate occasions before giving up on their products).
I learned an important lesson. When a company advertises "24 hour live customer service!" that customer service rep is not being paid $15.00 an hour to sit in a cubicle in Kentucky and answer phones if the off customer happens to have a question. Noooo.... instead, companies pay nice Phillipino workers what I'm sure amounts to far less money. Now, don't get me wrong, both gentleman were perfectly nice. I can say that comfortably, having spent over an hour on the phone with each of them. Of course, I had to laugh when the first gentleman told me his name was Eric, and it was only a half hour into the conversation, during some down time while we were waiting for the computer to reboot after one of his many (failed) suggestions, that he confessed and told me his real name (which I could never spell correctly, much less pronounce, so I won't bother trying). He also read off from a list of canned questions which the company clearly gave him to pass the inevitable down time. I didn't have the heart to ask him to be quiet while I watched TV, or read a book, so I engaged in some mindless chatter. The problem was, the network was showing that it was connected, and it was showing a signal.... but it wouldn't actually connect to the internet. Silly me, I thought that would be a quick fix. It wasn't. After an hour of failed suggestions, most of which Jenna probably could have come up with, and executed, quicker than the moronic "customer service" rep, I finally told him I was throwing in the towel, and planned to return the product.
At that point, "Eric" got very defensive, and started reading off what was obviously a prepared statement about how the problem wasn't with the product, and how the problem must have been my fault, or my environment's fault, for any of 100 reasons. As though that should somehow convince me to keep this $60 wifi adapter, even though it does not work and my computer cannot connect to the internet. But because it's not the adapter's fault, I guess I shouldn't hold it against the adapter. Sure. Maybe I'll just keep it and use it as... a thick bookmark? Ooh, I know. I have a table that's a bit off balance. The adapter is the perfect thickness to stick under the table leg and straighten things out. What a great use of $60.
Obviously I just cut "Eric" (and his NetGear counterpart, when it was time to call NetGear) off, thanked him kindly for all of his assistance, and immediately returned the product. Fortunately Staples has less of a vested interest in forcing me to use Linksys/NetGear products, and actually focuses its efforts on the "serving the customer" aspect of "customer service" -- they took back both adapters without batting an eye (for some reason I always gear myself up for a fight, or at least a hearty defensive explanation, when I'm returning things, especially electronics, so I'm always pleasantly surprised when the experience goes well). Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think for one second that the problem was with either of the wireless adapters I purchased. I'm sure they work beautifully in conjunction with wirless routers from this decade. But because they didn't fit my needs, they were useless to me.
Just as we were grasping at straws to figure out a decent internet connection (aside from the enjoyment of spending our downtime on facebook -- me, or espn.com -- josh, I actually do need the internet to be able to work from home, which I do most nights after Jenna goes to sleep) the heavens opened up and Verizon had a change of heart.
You see, my dad is a "snowbird." He lives in Florida in the winter. So for 6 months out of the year, he needs cable (he's gotta have HBO to watch Bill Maher) and internet. For the other 6 months, he doesn't need to rack up $150-200/month bills just so the dust mites and squatters can check their email (hey, Elijah is super busy one night out of the year... I figure the remainder of the year he hangs out in the houses of all those Jewish grandparents who winter in Florida!) Comcast was willing to put my dad's service to "sleep" while he was in Florida, charging him a minimal amount per month. When he looked into switching to FIOS, no dice, they wouldn't put his service to sleep. Even though it would save a few bucks per month for the regular monthly service, it certainly wasn't worth the switch if it meant paying full price for the months when he wasn't in Maryland. So, alas, we have spent the last few weeks floundering on a decades-old computer that couldn't access my work system and would have taken forever to upload a single Jenna picture.
So back to that change of heart. Verizon suddenly decided, after months of refusing, that they would agree to put my dad's service to sleep for a minimal cost when he leaves town. The cards fell into place, and Verizon showed up yesterday to save the world. Ok, ok, so I'm a bit over dramatic. But when you live in the internet-driven world, you get used to it, and you take it for granted. What time is that movie playing? Not sure, I'll check! Hmm, I know I recognize that actor from somewhere, what has he been in? Not sure, I'll check! what's that? ESPN is showing bowling re-runs and you can't determine who won the O's game and what the box score looked like? Hang on, I'll check! Need to send that work email at 1am, but need to attach a document that you can't attach from your blackberry? No problem! Less important, but more relevant... Need to know what all of your friends (and people you marginally know, have known tangentially at some point in your life, or don't know but know that your friends know, etc) are doing at this exact moment, with details bordering on invasive? Need to share with all of the above that you had steak for dinner and plan to watch some TV tonight? No problem! Facebook!! Need to take 1000 pictures of your kid doing absolutely nothing that absolutely no one other than you will find cute, and then post those pictures online for all of the above to see, subtly guilting them into telling you how adorable your kid is? No problem! Facebook!! Blogs!!
It's easy to make fun of, but we definitely take it for granted!! No one noticed the missing internet more than Jenna, who frequently climbed into the desk chair, grabbed the mouse, banged the keyboard, and demanded Elmo. Unfortunately my dad's computer was a bit too slow for streaming videos on sesamestreet.com, and even more unfortunately, Sesame Street (available on demand) is not the "elmo show" that I wish it would be. Thus, without a computer, I was unable to cater to Jenna's unquenchable desire for all-elmo, all the time.
Anyway, I never thought I would have an entire post devoted to the internet, but here I am wrapping it up (and almost too embarrased to post!) This was my long-story-short way of saying that we're back online as of last night, and I have lots to share (and I promise my next post will be infinitely more interesting!!)
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